


The Weary Kind

by hope27



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Post Episode Fic, Season/Series 02, Team Arrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:25:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1445074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope27/pseuds/hope27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity knows Oliver isn't sleeping.  She knows he's pushing them away.  She knows he's letting Slade get into his head.  But it isn't until she finds him outside her window one night that she confronts him about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weary Kind

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:** Hey everyone! I am still working on getting caught up with fic replies here. But I wanted to get this posted because it's been sitting on my harddrive for a few weeks since the episode aired and I'm sick and yeah...LOL.
> 
> So here it is. (Also, remember a lot HADN'T happened at that point...this was the Diggle-centric episode.)
> 
> As always, I LOVE to hear what you guys think. Thanks for reading and commenting! 
> 
> Big thank you to anthfan for looking this over!

Felicity knew he was there the moment she stepped out of her bathroom and into her bedroom, pilling her still damp hair on top of her head in a sloppy bun. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose and she purposely avoided looking in the direction of her window.

She wasn’t sure when she’d become so intune to Oliver that she knew when he was nearby, but over the past few months she’d realized her body reacted whenever he was close. A calmness settled over her, the feeling of being watched would normally cause her alarm but instead brought her peace. If she let herself dwell on it, the answers her brain would form could be treacherous for her heart - a heart that would no doubt back up her brains findings and then she would be in even more trouble. So instead, she refused to think too much about it, accepting it as something that was a part of her life since Oliver Queen walked into her office over a year ago.

Pulling down the edge of her tank top, she strode towards the window and flicked open the latch, tilting her head to the side and staring into the shadows, seeing the glint of green and the shift of movement from him.

She didn’t wait for him while he decided whether or not to enter - she knew he would - instead turning and heading for her bed and the laptop she’d left on it before going into the shower.

Her scans were still running. They were basic and cursory - but gave her something to do even when she wasn’t at work. She left the heavy stuff to her babies in the Foundry where she knew security was top-notch, especially since she’d upgraded it even more after their run in with Tockman.

The cool Starling City night air swept through her small room, but she didn’t hear him enter, only the closing of the window seconds later. The latch slid home, along with the sounds of the blinds being lowered and the curtains drawn shut.

It wasn’t until she heard him prop his bow up on the wall near her bed that she looked up at him, eyebrows raised in question. “At least Diggle sat outside in a car and didn’t perch outside my bedroom window,” she stated evenly, pushing her glasses up on her nose.

His shoulders slumped and she watched as he slid the hood off his head. It was then that she realized he’d come without the mask or make-up. The dark circles under his eyes stood out prominently and she wondered just how long it had been since he’d slept through the night. From her few conversations with Sara, she knew the other woman was worried about him and his mental state. Felicity was worried too, but she’d made up her mind to wait until he was open to hearing her before she said anything. 

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” His voice was low and worn, exhaustion clinging to every word and her chest tightened at seeing him like that.

“So because Diggle gets called away to do his super secret thing with A.R.G.U.S., you decide to give up more sleep to come and check on me?” 

Her question garnered a surprised expression and Felicity rolled her eyes. “I can’t decide if it’s cute or just annoying that you two don’t think I know what you’re up to or can’t find out…”

She waved her hand in the direction of her computers, cocking an eyebrow. “Both of your phones have a GPS tracker that I installed which I’ve used more times than I can count. I even have it set up to run with the simple push of a key...So, yes, I know Digg is off doing something for A.R.G.U.S. and that you’ve been spending your free time threatening the Bratva.”

Her words trailed off and she crossed her arms over her chest, not giving an inch as the worry and concern she’d felt over the past few days for the two most important men in her life came rushing back to her. “Do you really think _that_ was a good idea?”

Oliver winced, and yet Felicity thought she saw a glimpse of pride cross his features before he was sagging against the wall opposite her bed, mirroring her stance, arms crossed, expression grim.

“I needed information,” he sighed. “I knew they could get it.”

“Yeah, information that _I_ could have dug up as well,” Felicity replied, tilting her head to the side. “And it wouldn’t have cost you getting on the wrong side of the Russian mob.”

Oliver pushed off the wall then, eye blazing, fists clenched by his side. “And my contact ended up dead, Felicity. The leader of the Russian mob in Starling City found the information and Slade left him with an arrow through one of his eyes. This wasn’t about not knowing you could do it, it was about keeping you safe.”

Felicity felt her mouth dry at that news. An arrow through the eye - she shuddered at the thought. 

“Oliver…”

“No, Felicity,” He stopped pacing and faced her, his shoulders low, his face desperate and pleading, so different from his normally strong and confident stance. “Slade is back to keep the promise that he made to me five years ago. He wants to make me suffer. To take everything I love and care about away and leave me alive to live with it all…”

Oliver had told them all of this the week before and it left her with the same cold feeling this time around as it had the first. It was the most he had spoken to her about Slade and the island and the obvious vendetta he had against Oliver. The man wasn’t just out for Oliver’s blood; he was out to cause him the most pain possible - to watch him suffer as he lost everything he held dear.

“I can’t put you at risk…” His voice was broken and it pulled at something deep within her.

Felicity took a deep breath and pushed herself off her bed, rounding the end of it and coming to stop in front of Oliver who was watching her intently, eyes begging her to understand; to let him protect her.

“I get that you want to keep my safe, Oliver, but I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Digg.” Her voice was soft but strong, eyes locking with his - blue on blue. “I love that you are trying to protect me, but if Slade wants to kill me, he will.”

Felicity watched as Oliver’s eyes slammed shut and he shook his head hard as if trying to banish the image from his mind. His hands balled into fists at his side and she reached out and grasped them in her own, wrapping small fingers around his and holding them tight until he slowly released his fists and laced his fingers with hers.

“I know you think you have to do this yourself, but you don’t,” she finally continued when she thought he was ready to hear more.

She watched as his eyes fluttered open, oceans of fearful blue looked back at her. The myriad emotions written there for her to see were more than she’d ever seen from him before, and she took each one in, searing them into her memory.

“You’re not on that island anymore. It’s not just you. It’s not even just you and Sara. You have Digg and Roy and _me_ and we’re not going anywhere. Let us help you. You’re not alone, Oliver Queen. Not anymore.”

The words hung between them on the silence, only their soft breaths filling the space. His fingers tightened on hers and she watched the battle rage in his eyes as his gaze never wavered from hers.

It could have been minutes or hours that they stood there, locked in a silent stare, but finally she saw the moment one side won out over the other. His shoulders fell and his head bowed, coming ever so close to her own. The warmth of his breath rushed across her cheek when he spoke and she tried to ignore the shiver that ran through her body at the sensation.

His words were almost inaudible and she rocked forward on her toes to hear, their foreheads brushing. 

“I can’t lose you.”

There was a sharp tug in her chest, tears pressing against her eyelids as she took a deep breath before tilting her head back and looking up at him.

“I’m right here. You’re not going to lose me.”

The soft sound he made from the back of his throat washed over her and then she was being pulled into strong arms, her cheek falling against the cool leather of his jacket. She clung to him as he burrowed his face against her hair.

They stayed like that for minutes, and it was hard for Felicity to eventually push back, but she knew if she let it continue any longer, she’d have her own feelings to deal with and she wasn’t ready to open that chest of emotions just yet.

He let her go slowly, his hands sliding from around her before falling to his sides as he regarded her with a suddenly unreadable expression.

“You should go get some sleep,” she murmured, “Sara will wonder where you are…”

At the mention of sleep and Sara, Oliver seemed to tense once more and Felicity fisted her hands at her side to keep from reaching out to him again.

She could see the argument to her suggestion coming before he even opened his mouth and she shook her head. “You need sleep, Oliver. You can’t keep going the way you are.”

“I’m not leaving,” he stated, his jaw ticking as his eyes flashed with something almost desperate and she knew she’d never make him.

“Oliver…” she found herself taking a step forward, her hand reaching for his cheek but she stopped herself before it met his face and instead placed it on his shoulder.

“I can’t sleep,” he gritted out, his voice thick with emotion, and Felicity knew he was having nightmares. “Sara knows…”

“But she’s still worried about you. She told me…” Felicity sighed, wanting to help the man she considered her best friend as well as her partner. “Have you tried watching something before falling asleep?” she asked suddenly, “I know after the Count and then Tockman, I started to watch every comedy I could and fall asleep with the tv on in the background. The nightmares weren’t as bad then. Comedies are the best…” she quickly rambled off only to find a frown quickly forming on his face.

“You have nightmares?” he asked softly, and she saw the ever-increasing guilt enter his eyes and sighed.

“Hey, I’m okay,” she told him with a crook of her lips. “They aren’t as bad anymore, and like I said, the shows help. Will you at least try it? “

The furrow in his brow didn’t disappear and she watched as he searched her face as if looking for any outward signs that her nightmares still plagued her. She hadn’t meant for that to slip out but it had and she wasn’t going to take it back and lie to Oliver. So, when she saw him about to ask her more on the subject, she grabbed his hand and towed him out to her living room. Pulling him down onto the couch, she turned on the tv and brought up her Netflix and quickly clicked on the next in the queue.

As the show started, she felt his eyes on her but he remained silent. After a few minutes, he grabbed her hand and held on tightly, letting his attention drift towards the screen.

He was asleep before the end of the first episode.

Felicity smiled as she looked over at Oliver, his eyes closed and appearing to be peacefully dreaming or not dreaming at all. Pulling the blanket off the back of the couch, she covered him and started the next episode, snuggling under the leftover edge.

She was asleep by the end of the second episode, her head pillowed comfortably against his shoulder.

The morning light peeking through her curtains woke Felicity, and when she tilted her head up, she saw that Oliver was still fast asleep, one arm wrapped securely around her waist. 

She must have dozed off again because the next time she blinked open sleepy eyes, she found herself tucked further into Oliver’s chest, his hand firmly on her hip, holding her to him as if he was trying to protect her even in his sleep.

If she were being honest, she would have to admit she didn't think she had ever felt as safe as she did waking up in Oliver’s arms, gathered into his side. Something intimate and longing rose unbidden within her at the thought and she swallowed against the emotions stirred up deep inside. Taking a deep breath, she tried to push those thoughts and feelings back down and enjoy the quiet moment that surrounded them.

The soft ding of her phone sounded again and she realized that is what woke her.

Her eyes drifted up to Oliver’s face, tilted back against the couch, eyes closed and a surprisingly peaceful look on his face. Pulling her gaze away from his face, she scanned the room for her phone, finding it on the table just to the left of her couch. She would have fist-pumped if the action wouldn’t have woken Oliver because this meant that she could reach it without disentangling herself from his sleeping form. She knew he’d wake if she moved. Five years on the island left his survival instincts honed to a sharp point. Sudden movement or the loss of body contact would result in him waking with a start. She’d seen it multiple times when he’d dozed off in the Foundry and she wanted him to sleep for as long as he could - she knew he needed it.

As gently as she could, she reached for her phone, her fingertips just managing to grasp it and pull it to her, silencing it with a swipe of her thumb.

She had four unread texts, two from Diggle and two from Sara. Both wondering where Oliver was and worried that he’d done something stupid.

 ** _Sara:_** Oliver’s missing. Have you seen him? Can you turn on his tracker?

 ** _Diggle:_** Got back in town late last night. Sara says she can’t find Oliver, that he’s been acting off lately.

 ** _Sara:_** Can you come to the club when you get up?

Diggle’s second text made her smile.

_He’s with you , right?_

Quickly, she typed out a reply and hit send.

_Yes. Come in already._

It only took a minute for her phone to light up again. 

_What makes you think I’m outside?_

Felicity rolled her eyes, tapping out her response with a sigh and a smile.

_Because I know you. Come in, John. He’s sleeping._

There was no reply, but a few minutes later, she heard a key in her door, the sound of it opening and closing before Diggle came into sight, a cup of coffee in one hand and a bag slung over his shoulder.

His eyebrows rose slightly when he saw Oliver sound asleep on her couch, arm wrapped low around her waist. Shaking his head, he sighed, his eyes finding hers and giving her a knowing look.

She thought he was going to speak, but then he surprised her by pulling his phone from inside his jacket.

 _How long?_ Was the text she recieved seconds later. She smiled at his obvious attempt to let Oliver sleep as long as possible.

 _Most of the night,_ she replied. _I found him sitting outside my window.How are you? Everything okay?_ Her questions caused his brow to furrow and she wondered exactly what had gone down in Markovia, but those could be asked later. 

_I’m okay. It was a long few days._

His reply was vague and she didn’t push it, knowing he would tell her more when they talked out loud. 

_It’s been a long few days here too. Slade’s getting into his head._

She stopped with that, knowing she could add that he’d gotten into things with the Bratva; that the leader had ended up on the receiving end of one of Slade’s arrows; that Oliver hadn’t slept for more than two hours at a time every night; that he was pulling away from everyone. Felicity hadn’t seen him this shaken before, and while she had come to terms with her own danger, seeing Oliver tormented this much gave her a glimpse into the past these two shared and it wasn’t a good one. Whatever had happened with Slade, it was enough to have Oliver on edge, that wild, haunted look in his eyes worrying her. She wanted to reach out, to try and ease the terror hidden behind the thin facade he’d tried to erect. But she also knew, the best thing she could do for him was to simply be there. So that’s what she’d done. She’d gone to the office, and handed him reports she knew he wasn’t reading thoroughly. She scheduled and rescheduled his meetings; declining calls from Isabel at the end of the day when she knew he was at the end of his rope. Then she went to the Foundry, pulling up searches that she’d started on Slade Wilson the moment Sara had recognized his voice over the phone. 

In the mean time, she kept tabs on the police scanners, her programs telling her when there was anything big going down in the city. She’d seen Oliver’s hesitance that night she’d told him about the bank robbery in progress; saw him struggling with what and how to handle being The Arrow while this foe from his past had resurfaced and blown a hole through his memories and beliefs about his past from the island. It had rocked him to his very core and she hated to see him so conflicted about who and what he was supposed to do with this new information. 

Seeing that struggle, she knew she needed to help him remember the person he was in the present. Slade brought back memories and ghosts from his past, but that didn’t change who he was now. He was still The Arrow; still a hero. She would make sure he remembered that - no matter how many times she had to remind him; she would tell him until he believed it for himself.

_Then we help keep Slade out of his head as much as possible. Any luck on that front?_

Felicity sighed, moving her head from side to side as she typed back.

_He went to the Bravta. They got him the account number but last night he found the leader dead with an arrow through his right eye._

She heard Diggle curse softly under his breath as he read her last text, the military man closing his eyes and swiping a hand over them in frustration.

After a minute, she sent him another text.

_I told him he can’t just push us away to keep us safe. We’re not going anywhere._

Diggle smiled and nodded.

_Damn straight._

Her lips curved up and she let her head fall back against Oliver’s chest on reflex, freezing when she realized how normal it felt to be wrapped in his arms while he slept peacefully at her side.

Her eyes found Digg’s and she saw the inscrutable look he was giving her - one of concern and warning but also a deep-seeded acceptance. She wanted to ask him what he was thinking but she wasn’t sure she was reading to hear the answer.

Bringing her phone up to her face, she was about to write another text when she felt Oliver shift beneath her. His head tilted to the side, nuzzling her hair before he let out a long breath. Felicity was still as he moved, trying not to let the feelings that flooded through her when he turned into her take over.

Lifting her head, she watched as his eyes fluttered open. Sleepy ocean blue met her and the breath fell from her lungs at the sight of a half-awake Oliver Queen looking at her like she was the best thing he could ever wake up to.

The hand resting on his chest slid up on instinct, her fingers finding his jawline as she gazed down at him.

At the feeling of his rough stubble against her skin she inhaled sharply and immediately halted her movement as she realized the intimacy of the gesture.

His eyes had darkened imperceptibly, the blood thrumming through her ears as she watched him slowly make sense of the scene and remember how he’d ended up wrapped around her on her couch.

When it all came back, his eyes slammed shut and he lowered his head, shaking his head slightly as if trying to rid his mind of the nightmare that had turned reality - Slade really was back.

“You look like hell,” Diggle’s voice rang out from the chair next to them, and Oliver lifted his head.

The scowl didn’t quite reach his eyes and Felicity felt her own mouth tick up into a smile at Diggle’s attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

Digg’s words broke the quiet moment that had settled around them and suddenly Felicity realized that she was still plastered to Oliver’s side, his arm draped possively around her waist. Before either of them could say anything, she bolted upright, shoving up off Oliver’s chest with enough force to make him grunt softly.

Propelling herself as far over on the couch until they were no longer touching, but she felt his hand drag across her skin where the tank top she’d been wearing had ridden up.

Heat flooded her cheeks and she ducked her head, trying to get her emotions under control and not daring to look up at Oliver just yet.

“Sorry...I guess we fell asleep watching tv and I didn’t want to wake you because I know you haven’t slept for more than a few hours at a time. I must have fallen asleep too, you actually make a pretty good pillow. Not that I was taking advantage of you, “ her eyes slammed shut as she realised what she said, “Not that I would take advantage of you...you were just pretty attached to my side and I thought if I moved, I’d wake you up…” her words trailed off. “Not that you meant to be attached to me, you didn’t even know it was me, I’m sure in your sleep you thought it was Sara and that’s fine I just was glad you were sleeping...”

“Felicity,” Oliver’s calm, steady voice broke through her ramble, and the words flowing out of her mouth came to a sudden stop.

Taking a deep breath, her head snapped up to find his gaze, amusement twinkling in them along with something darker and more serious.

“Thank you,” he told her softly, reaching out a hand on the sofa and covering one of hers.

She gave him a slow smile, and was relieved when a second later, he pulled his eyes away from her and turned towards Digg as if nothing was out of the ordinary. 

“Everything go okay?” Oliver asked, his gaze holding his friends and silently asking more than he was willing to aloud.

Diggle nodded sharply. “More or less.”

Oliver swallowed and took a deep breath that expanded his chest, and she realized she was still holding his hand. With reluctance, she let go of his fingers and pushed her mussed hair behind her ears.

The dark circles under his eyes had faded somewhat and while he still looked tired and worn, a bit of his normal confidence and poise seemed to be back. Felicity could still see the fear and uncertainty in his gaze and wished she could go back to the moment he’d just opened his eyes - mind still clouded with sleep. The way he’d looked at her in that split second made her stomach flutter.

“How do you feel?” She asked softly and his head swiveled to lock eyes with her again.

They shared a silent moment, his gaze boring into her, thanking her again. “Better.”

“Good,” she murmured, “Now we can get back to work. We have a bad guy to catch.”

He went rigid at her words and she watched as the tension re-entered his body. She felt a coldness settle around her as he began to stand, but Felicity wasn’t going to let him shut them out again. With a small burst of strength, she grasped his arm and pulled him back onto the couch. 

“No, no you don’t,” she said stubbornly. “You don’t get to shut us out. We are a team, Oliver. I thought we went over this last night. We’re not going anywhere. Digg, me, Sara, Roy - we’re here. Don’t push us away.”

Oliver’s jaw tightened, the vein on his forehead ticking as she watched him try and control the outburst she knew was rising within him.

“But he’ll come after you. He’ll come after all of you,” he stated, his voice cracking at the last few words as he gazed at her. “I can’t…”

“You can’t do this alone,” she cut him off, with a firm shake of her head, “and I’m not going to let you. We’re not going to let you. If you think you can just ignore us and we’ll disappear or lock us out of the Foundry, you’re wrong. First of all, I built that security system from the bottom up so I’d like to see you try and secondly, we’re not leaving you...”

When his eyes closed at her words, Diggle spoke up. “She’s right, man. You’re not getting rid of us that easily. We’re a team.”

Oliver’s shoulders sagged and Felicity was sure he wasn’t going to respond - that they hadn’t gotten through to him until, finally, he lifted his head and opened his eyes, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

It was a small, understated nod, but it’s meaning was loud and clear. Felicity exhaled softly, and only then realized that at some point he’d reached out and grabbed her hand. Staring down at their intertwined fingers, she knew she’d do whatever she could to keep her team - her boys - alive. They were her family and she’d do anything for her family.

Diggle handed out the coffees he’d brought and she eagerly grabbed hers. “I was wondering when you were going to give this to me.”

Arching an eyebrow, Diggle gave her an amused look. “Well, you were a bit preoccupied with Sleeping Beauty here when I came in…”

Felicity felt her cheeks flush and she narrowed her eyes at him.

The way Oliver’s body stiffened, she knew he was sending Diggle a look of his own. The older man ignored them both and grabbed the gym bag he’d brought in with him.

“Here,” he said, handing it to Oliver.

Frowning, Oliver took the bag with a questioning look.

“Change of clothes,” Diggle answered his unasked question. “Unless you plan on going out in broad daylight as the Arrow…”

For the first time, Oliver seemed to remember that he was still in his green leather suit and ran a hand over his face.

“Thank you,” he murmured, looking back and forth between both of them, and Felicity smiled.

Leaning over she placed a soft kiss against his cheek, the stubble rough against her lips. Her free hand landed on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze before she stood.

“Anytime,” she told him softly before she forced herself to move away from him and into her small kitchenette. 

“Shower’s off the bedroom,” she called over her shoulder, “Not that you probably didn’t already have the blueprints to my apartment memorized.”

She felt both of their eyes on her back and smiled to herself as Oliver choked slightly on his coffee.

Looking in the fridge, she decided she had enough eggs and bacon for some breakfast to feed them all. As she worked, she heard the soft murmur of voices before they stopped and the distant sound of water let her know he’d taken her up on her offer.

Diggle appeared in the doorway of her kitchen a few moments later, and got out three plates silently as she worked.

Her mind fluttered through the events of the past few days, and that fear that she’d been doing such a good job of hiding reared up inside her. She couldn’t bear to think about even the possibility of Slade taking away the people who had come to mean the world to her. The idea of her life without Diggle or Oliver...that just wasn’t an option.

The weight of Diggle’s hand on her shoulder caused her to jump and she spun, spoon in hand to find him fighting an amused expression. But just as quickly as the smile came, it faltered on his lips and he turned serious again.

“We’ll get through this,” he stated evenly, and Felicity expelled the breath that she’d been holding since her mind had started to wander.

Tears pushed at the back of her eyes and she blinked rapidly, trying to keep them at bay.

“I just...I can’t lose you,” she whispered hoarsely, “I can’t lose him…”

Diggle nodded, a gesture not only of understanding but agreement with her sentiment.

Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and engulfed her in solid arms. He didn’t make her promises he couldn’t keep. Instead, he did the one thing he could do - comfort her. Felicity took a deep shuddering breath when he stepped back, her eyes falling to the egg now on his shirt from the spoon.

“Oops,” she mumbled, wiping at the pieces of egg and the grease spot. 

Diggle just shrugged, and reached around her to turn down the burner. Felicity smiled up at him in thanks. 

A few minutes later, Diggle had found the silverware and Oliver reappeared, dressed in jeans and a blue pullover. He smiled at the sight of breakfast and his team moving around the small area.

“Help yourselves, boys,” she said, pointing to the plates, grabbing her own along with a fork and spoon. 

They ate together, sitting in her living room, Felicity, her feet tucked up under her, on the couch with Oliver next to her. Diggle took up residence in the large lounge chair and for a few hours, they were could forget there was a madman out there trying to destroy their world and, instead, cherish the moments they had together.


End file.
